Monday, June 28, 2010

I love growing in His fields

June 22, 2010

Today has been the best preparation day ever thus far. We decided to plan only the things we wanted to do and the most logical order to do them in. This has truly been a day of rest! Sister Pulleyn and I got up and went running. We didn't worry about what time we got home we just ran until we felt like going home. It was beautiful. I felt like I was running off the stress and worry and fatigue of 15 months. It was just before a storm came in so the sky was fantastic and the air light and cool. We ran to inspiration point, a place where Joseph Smith went to think, and looked out across the Mississippi. As we headed home it started to rain. Just enough to cool us off and re-energize us. Up past the temple, down past the shops on Muholland Street until we turned onto our road. We sprinted the last bit. We started laundry and made the best breakfast I've eaten in a long time.(sweet potato hash browns, strawberry pancakes, an omelet, poached eggs, and french toast) It was so good. I wont be eating lunch today. Then we did all our cleaning and showered and then tried to nap. It actually didn't go all that well, but I think that is part of why I liked it. I was looking forward to the nap more than probably anything today because I have felt incredibly exhausted as of late. It drove me through my run and made me cheerful through cleaning, laundry, shower, and breakfast. I didn't end up getting down until 10:15 and then I laid there for 15 minutes. I just barely started to slip into sleep around 10:45 when Sister Pulleyn came in to say it was time to get ready to e-mail. I asked for 15 more minutes and then laid there some more. The thought that came to my head was, "this is useless".   I got up and read and we are now e-mailing and plan on writing letters for the rest of the day. (We have moved our temple day to Friday). I am perfectly content. It really struck me to know that I couldn't really scoot into the nap I expected to have. After all it is what drove me through this morning!!! As I have thought about it more it makes me think about how there is no rest after this life and how the work just continues. The thought of "rest" sometimes seems to drive us in this life and when I have thought about "no rest" in the world to come I have felt, at times, my eternal perspective shudder a little, but I think it will be much like today was. The thought of rest will drive us through this life and then when we arrive that initial thought of resting will seem useless.  Who can sleep when there is so much work to be done? I think that by the time this life is over, after we have run our course, supped our fill and tied up loose ends we will be so pumped and intent on moving on that rest will seem useless.  The best rest we will be able to think of would be to help our family members still running around, to feed those still hungering, and to bear up missionaries on door steps so that the work can be finished. Then maybe we will rest...or maybe we will be too anxious to move on to the next task. Rest does have it's purpose, but it also has it's place.

The sociable is over. Pageant is on it's way. The summer is, as usual, moving quicker than it sometimes feels like I can move my feet. But the Lord will attend.

The sociable was different than last year. It was fantastic and wonderful but it still feels good that it's over.   I feel like I learned more, partly because I trusted more. Last year I struggled because I can't sing, I didn't know how to act or look, I couldn't remember the steps, my lines, etc.   I was so stressed. This year I felt I was able to learn more because, since I had hurtled sociable before, with the Lord's help, I knew he would help me again. I learned more because I worried less. The things that stood as obstacles last year were non issues this year. I moved forward with faith. I took note this year that most in attendance were members and missionaries, but I felt the spirit so strongly and I was filled with love and happiness to be able to spiritually feed them on their sabbath.  All in attendance came to our sociable on their sabbath.  They had deemed it worthy as a sabbath day activity and I walked away knowing that it was. I had hoped to see a non-member named Brenda there but she didn't make it.  I thought that her absence would take away some of the sweetness I felt, but it didn't. I was so glad to serve who ever came, no matter what walk in life they traveled. I also took note that there was at least one non-member man who was very touched. Sister Pulleyn talked to him in the visitor's center yesterday before he headed out on the rest of the Mormon trail, in part because of the spirit he felt here. He mentioned the spirit he had felt and how he was praying that the Lord would guide his feet. President Ludwig once said that we "should never give unconditional service". I agreed, but I feel like I have learned more about that this sociable. Unconditional not only in not expecting something in return, but with out respecting the person. Member or non-member, Missionary or visitor, King or peddler. He would serve them all, unconditionally and just as happily as the other, so will I. I have not learned to value non-member tours or moments to testify to them any less, but I have learn to value member tours and moments to testify to them, more.

For sociable we sang "The Lilies of the Field". It talks about how Heavenly Father provides us with what we need, and how "He clothes the lilies of the field and feeds the birds in the sky". The point is that we are His children and He will care for us just as well and more than he does for the lilies and the birds. "He will heal those who trust Him and guide them with His eye". The difference between us and the lilies is that He lets us chose to accept or reject His care. He will never take away our agency to chose.

I like growing in His fields. 3 Nephi 12:28-34 & Matt. 6:25-34

Sister Bailey

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