Something New to Learn and Something Old to Change

June 8, 2010

Nauvoo always takes some wiggling into before things settle, especially when all the missionaries are moving in and there really is not a schedule or routine to settle into. But most of the hubbub is over and we're getting closer and closer to putting on our Sunday night sociable for all of Nauvoo (June 20th ) and then Pageant. Sister Ludwig and President Ludwig are amazing. The Seniors are outstanding and each Sister here (and each missionary) is here for a reason. There is always something new to learn and something old to change. Such is life. Speaking of changes, this is the last week of this transfer. I can't believe transfers are already here. Chances are that the Lord will be splitting up Sister Cordoba and I. I love her. We may not be companions through all this but we will be dear friends for the rest of our lives. Maybe I can convince her to teach my children Spanish.

I have been very specific in my prayers lately, and very candid also. It has been a very sacred experience. I feel like my relationship with Him is more defined and that I have moved closer to Him in my life. My testimony of prayer has grown immensely.

This week has been an incredible week, but I am at a loss as to what exactly I could share with you.

The interview that I had with President Ludwig was a very interesting one. I didn't have much to talk to him about, but he had thought of some things he wanted to talk to me about. He asked me questions that required me to look back on my entire mission and it was quite the experience. I appreciated the opportunity. He asked me about the ways in which I had changed. There are so many. He had me pick three. Then he listed some things that he had observed. It was an incredible experience to have and I am so grateful for priesthood leaders. I am so grateful and blessed to be born at a time period on which the priesthood, the authority to act in God's name, is on the earth today and causing truth to go forward at an unreal pace. I know that the Book of Mormon is true, that we have a prophet today, and that God is in the details of our lives. He loves us so much. He will provide the way, but we need to take it.

I love you all. I know that this letter is short, but it is how I am feeling at the moment. Thank you for your prayers. I feel them everyday. I feel and see them answered.

Mosiah 2:41

Sister Bailey

Lead me, Guide me, Walk be side me, Help me find the way...

June 1, 2010

We went to the temple today. We didn’t go last week because on p-day it looked as though we would be able to attend on Thursday. As the week played out however, it didn’t work out that way. We were able to at least go and stay for a very short time, but we didn’t have time for a whole session. I was so thankful to even be there, but I had planned out a whole study that was going to be awesome. I was SO thankful to be back in the temple today, doing a session. I did do my study. It was very insightful, but the best thing about the temple today was seeing Bonnie. I met Bonnie this week in the Visitor’s Center before a showing of “High Hopes”. I noticed her over many of the other visitors, which is what caused me to go strike up a conversation. She had told me that she liked the history here and that it was all “very interesting”, but that she had no expectations for her stay here. I felt very impressed to change her view, which was weird to feel because I didn’t think she had a horrible view by any means, but I heeded the prompting and told her that it was not adequate to simply expect to hear interesting things. She should be expecting a spiritual experience here. She was entitled to it! What’s more, Heavenly Father wanted her to have one here. I committed her to pray for one, to pray to have her heart open and to pray to recognize the spirit more acutely in Nauvoo. I walked away feeling a little bold, especially to be demanding such behavior from someone so my senior, but I ultimately felt content about what had been said. Every person in Nauvoo SHOULD expect something great, even life changing from their visit here, no matter the duration. Two hours later the next “High Hopes” was going to start and I was seating for it. She walked by me and her name tumbled out of my mouth, “Hi Bonnie!”. Her face lit up and she waved as she was ushered around the corner. I was surprised how quickly I had remembered her name. It hadn’t really even felt like me saying it. It was confirmed to me later, when she found me after the play to thank me for remembering her name, that it was not I who had drawn it from my lips. It had meant a lot to her, or at least it seemed like it had. I momentarily reflected on how mindful God is of his children and their needs and how wonderful it is to be able to help Him in reminding them of that. I never would have known, when I asked for her name, that it would later be something of worth to her. But God did. Anyway, getting back to this morning... I saw her at the temple! She was in my session and I made a point to say hello and ask how she was doing as we left, “Hello Bonnie! How are you?”. We ended up walking out of the building together. Sister Cordoba and I stopped to talk with her for a little bit and she welled up with tears. She went on to explain what a wonderful session it was for her. She had had a very powerful spiritual experience towards the end. She mentioned her and her husband’s recent call as ward temple missionaries and that her father had passed away recently. I couldn’t exactly understand what in prayers had been answered, but she hugged me and thanked me for asking her to pray for a spiritual experience while she was here. She said she never would have asked for one had I not taken the time to tell her to do so. It was a very humbling experience. I think that as missionaries, especially as Nauvoo missionaries, we forget, or fail to realize, the power of our influence. I felt so blessed to first, be able to be an instrument in His hands and second, to be shown a bit of the results of being bold, and heeding the promptings of the spirit.

Another wonderful experience that I had in the Visitor’s Center was with a man named Jason. He is the only member of his family who is not a member. He was very candid about it. As we got to talking I was able to testify of so many truths to him, particularly of the Book of Mormon and eternal families. His wife has taken him to many of the Church history sites, but he has never been to the sacred grove - Where Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ. I told him that I wanted to go there someday. He mentioned that it might be cool and we talked about how strong the spirit must be there. I told him that I wanted him to e-mail me when he went to tell me how it was. He then told me that he probably wouldn’t make it before I did, so instead we exchanged e-mails and made a pact, who ever makes it there first has to e-mail the other one and tell them how it was. He also had mentioned that he had started the Book of Mormon what felt like hundreds of times. I told him to read 3Nephi 11 and to pay attention to how he felt as he read. Sister Cordoba and I were both able to have a wonderful conversation with him about the Gospel and how it blesses families and double testify of every principle we taught. It was fantastic! And, I have even more incentive to go to the Sacred Grove after my mission now. I am praying that he reads and follows the spirit in what to do next. We told him to contact the missionaries when he feels he is ready. He kept saying that he didn’t feel ready.

Sister Cordoba had an very inactive former missionary make a rather contentious comment to her in the Visitor’s Center about our mission. Sister Cordoba followed the spirit instead of her pride and was able to minister to her the way the Savior would have had He been there. She was broken and down trodden and Sister Cordoba lifted her up instead of kicking her back. She is such an example to me. She is fantastic. All of the new Sisters are. I sometimes feel as though they are training us. I am so excited for the next 18 months of their lives. It so strange to be on this end of it.

I am in continual awe of all President and Sister Ludwig do for us every day. They stand in the Savior’s stead for us. I am so grateful that I have been able to serve under their direction and love.

Sister Bailey

Though the world may hate me, The truth of His word sets me free.

May 25

I had the most incredible day yesterday. I felt so close to the Savior. I felt Him walking beside me with every step I took. I was able to talk to my mission president about something that has been troubling me. The spirit was so strong throughout our visit and as I left his office. I felt as though a huge burden had been lifted from my mind. I had a peace with me the entire day. Sister Cordoba and I had the opportunity to serve extra hours in the Visitor's Center because of some scheduling errors. Last night we had sociable practice and the spirit was so strong. We sang “I know That My Redeemer Lives” as sisters. Everyone has parts. Not very many of us could make it all the way through the song. (It will be interesting to see what happens at sociable). Most of us had tears flowing down our cheeks and the spirit was thick. We were all so united as sisters. Each Sister’s testimony of Christ was filling the room. It was so wonderful, so perfect. My day could not have ended on a better note. (no pun intended). Nauvoo has taught me so much about Sisterhood, built me so much. My heart is lifted to know that when “Sisters in Zion” is sung, I will now and forever feel that I have a part in it; that I can lay claim on the glorious blessing of Sisterhood, something that I did not feel like I had any part in before my mission. I have learned and gained so much from all of this. Part of me feels very much the same, but I feel very much improved upon as well.

There is another song in Sociable that Sister Davis sings. I don’t know what’s it’s called, but it’s about a person gaining a testimony of the restoration, and of the gospel and then serving a mission. I love it. I love listening to it. The line that is repeated the most refers first to Joseph Smith and then to the missionary. It says, “He knows that I know, I can not deny it, I will live my life by it, though the world may hate me the truth of His word sets me free”. I have thought a lot about that line. I am sure most every missionary feels the same. Sister Davis sings it so powerfully. When I listen to it I am reminded how bound my life is to this work. I have a testimony of this gospel and I can not deny it. I will not, so long as I live (which will be forever if I reach what I’m aiming for). I love the gospel. I know that my redeemer lives and loves me too. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and that the Priesthood has been restored to the earth. That families are and, have always meant to be, forever. I know that Jesus Christ’s atonement breaks every mold and opens every door to salvation and exaltation. This is it. If I were asked to, I would die for Him, but I am asked to live instead. And I will live for Him! I will go where He directs and I will do as He instructs. I love Him.

In our companionship study today we talked a lot about the Book of Mormon. I had stopped reading it for a while hoping to have some fantastic study idea for it to come into my head, but nothing came, so I just started over. There has been a stark difference in my study and in my day. There is such a powerful spirit that comes with the Book of Mormon! Even if it’s just a verse a day. I love it. I am excited to go to the temple this next coming Thursday because I have a really cool study to do! I have found a part in the scriptures that has never stuck out to me before (in J.S. testimony) that has just taken hold of me. I love the Scriptures!!!!

Thank you for all of you support and prayers. They are felt on a day to day basis. Thank you for your letters. I promise I will get back to them. God willing, I will get back to them. I love you all!

From Nauvoo,

Sister Bailey

And so Nauvoo I say "Hello" to you!

May 18, 2010 

     Transfers could not have gone more perfectly for me. I, or should I say WE, have been switched to Nauvoo. That's right! Sister Cordoba and I get another four weeks together! I am so excited! I have been learning so much from her and was not ready to let her go. I am able to talk with her so easily and she has helped me figure things out and be at peace with things I've thought about for years. I am so much better because I know her and I love every minute of being her companion. She is someone I will always be able to turn to for anything for the rest of my life. I love being able to hear her testimony and watch her excitement about the next 18 months ahead of her. It's so weird to be here for my second summer. I think the weirdest part is watching the new sisters. It's like looking back to a year ago. We are in the same place, at the same time, but we're on completely different spots on the time line. It's like time is all wrinkled up. It really has helped me understand the Sisters who have since gone home from last summer. I always feel a tinge of sadness when I realize how little time I have left. That isn't a thought I let cross my mind very often though.

     Right now we are trying our best to get ready for "Sociable, which means we sing for nearly two hours every night. This year it is about the Book of Mormon and it's a month earlier than last year so we are really crunched for time. It's going to be SO good. We're also focusing more on and receiving more referrals from people.  This includes both self and member referrals and it has been great! But, this also means that LOTS of calling is to be done. So, if we're not singing, we're on the phones. I love it all!  As a musically disabled person Sociable practice blesses me to be able to see miracles.  I have always loved the call center and now it reminds me of tracting so it's even more fun.

Today we went to the temple with Sister Bitter (Sister Cordoba's MTC companion) and Sister Lukens(the very last companion I had before leaving Nauvoo). It was a very good experience. It's been a little weird being back in the Hatch and hearing about all the other sister's plans to go home. It actually has made me feel very uncomfortable. I have identified myself as a queen of second guessing. As I hear about everyone who is going back to school in the fall it makes me go through my decision process all over again. As I went to the temple to day I went searching for a re-confirmation that the Lord supported me decision to go home in September. I had a feeling of peace come over me while there. I felt the way I had when I had prayed originally and it has given me comfort and strength. I feel much more prepared for those conversations now. I am so grateful for personal revelation.

     In my studies this week something was reiterated to me and made clearer by way of a parable of Christ's explained in Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage.  James E. Talmage talks in depth about the parable of the sower. It actually reminded me a lot about being a Nauvoo Missionary and a life time missionary and missions in general. Talmage calls this parable "the parable of the four different kinds of soil" rather than the parable of the sower, because that is where it draws our attention and it is through the different kinds of soil that we are able to learn the greater lessons. The four soils are 1. the hard packed down soil, much like the kind found on a well used dirt road or highway, 2. topsoil that is too shallow to grow anything on because of the solid sheet of bedrock underneath it, 3. a field good for growing that is already inhabited by thorns that choke out any other kind of growth and 4. good soil, nutrients rich, plowed and ready for planting. The different types of soil represents the hardness or softness of different hearts.

 He goes on and talks about how many authority figures in religion have tried to use this parable as something to label and classify different "types" of people, making them a "type", rigid and unchanging, rather that a situation, fluid and influenced. He then retorts this concept by explaining that parables are only useful as long as they are applied accordingly. When the principle is applied beyond the purposes intended than the lesson becomes useless.

He then takes the parable further and talks about how none of the kinds of soil are permanently so. The packed down soil can be plowed and nursed into an environment fit for seed to take root, the bedrock, with great effort can be broken apart and removed, the thorns cleared out and the nutrient rich soil invaded by thorns, neglected, packed down and dispersed over any hard surface that would impede the growth of anything. The sate of any heart is subject to change with appropriate effort or the lack there of. I would think it much harder to prepare a poor field for planting than to scatter seeds into a rich moist soil, ready to produce. To break up the bedrock and remove it, to clear out the thorns and to plow the tough trodden down soil. But! all of this needs to be done. I would rather do the harder part. I would rather break up rock and move it out, battle fields of thorns and plow out paved high ways than flick my wrist and watch things grow. I am grateful to those who follow after, who plant the fields and bring in the grain, but when harvest time comes I want to do the harder part. As Nauvoo Sisters that is what we are often called to do. We rarely see produce from our labors, but people come to Nauvoo and leave better. Someone later will come and plant a seed and watch it grow and possibly gather in the grain, and I am thankful to them for finishing the job.  But, I'm grateful for the opportunity to do the harder part. The Lord has trusted the Nauvoo Sisters with the hardest part of labor. I am honored to do it for Him.

I apologize if this doesn't make much sense, but it was and is how I feel about my study. For what it's worth it strengthened me and I felt taught by the spirit as I read.

I know that the Gospel has been restored and I know that Jesus Is the Christ. I love all of you. Thank you so much for your support. Your letters are always the high light of my week. 

They keep me smiling.

Sister Bailey

Pictures from Nauvoo

My husband and I were on vacation in Nauvoo and ran into the missionaries. We stopped them and took their pictures. They were all so cute and excited about the gospel and it was wonderful talking to them. I have a son serving in Ft Worth Tx. There is a mom down there that has sent me a few pictures. I loved it. There is something comforting in someone else seeing them and knowing they are OK. Enjoy the pictures.

- Sharon Chatelain Missinary mom to Elder Chatelain Ft Worth TX

Time is a relative thing

                                                                                                       May 11

My brain is going in so many directions right now I can hardly figure out where to go first. This week was good. Part of me feels like so much has happened and the other part is shocked at how fast things went. Speaking of things moving fast, I can't believe it's the last week of the transfer. I'm not ready to let Sister Cordoba go. I love Sister Cordoba. She has helped me so much over the past two weeks and I feel like I still have so much to learn from her. Study is always a spiritual experience. She has helped me more and more to keep better and better track of my goal to feel the spirit work through me. It has been helping me become more sensitive to the spirit because I am looking for it and noting it's guidance. Studies have been fantastic. Service has been fantastic. Maybe I should just start with what is freshest and move back wards.

Today Sister Cordoba and I went to the temple. It was wonderful. I was very focused on something that has occupied my mind for the past 24 hours or so and it was wonderful to step out of the world and into some peace and quite so that I could ponder it more effectively.  It has been a really good day and an even better day to be on preparation day rather than serving. There has been no conclusion drawn, but faith and trust in whatever heavenly Father decides to do with the situation has be built and strengthened.  I know that by the time tomorrow comes I will feel much better and be thinking much clearer. The rest of today should be good. We've done our shopping and will clean the car before cramming as many sites into our day as possible. I called home on Sunday (Mother's Day) and was able to talk to my family! I can't believe that will be the last time I call them until I come home. It was wonderful to talk to them and I found myself wishing I had a little more time. We talked about a lot of things and my mom is planning her trip here. (So should the rest of you)  Everything seems to be going great back home and everything is going well here also. It's one of those times in your life that sneak up on you every once in a while. When the winds stop and the worry lulls. Things are very quiet and pleasant for me at the moment.

One tender mercy from on high this week was being able to have Susan Easton Black come speak to the sisters this past Sunday in district meeting. I missed her! I was fervently taking notes the entire time. I like the way she speaks.  She always has some sort of a goal. I identified her goal this time as "getting to know and learn something from Lucy Mack Smith". The most valuable lesson did not come until the very last minute as she was concluding. Heavenly Father seems to do that with me. I don't know if that's how I learn best or if he's teaching me patience, but it seems to come last of all. The most valuable piece of revelation that happened for me was when, as she closed, a thought came to my head. It had very little to do with what Sister Black had been talking about at the moment. It was very personal and very clear. Very crisp and coincided with a goal I have to more fully obey the Lord's commandment to "be of good cheer". As I reflected on that piece of light I had received I realized that I have some changes to be making. I'm not really sure what this piece of light means to me but I know that it is something good. It is a piece of light that I do not want to go out or fade. I am going to talk to Sister Cordoba about it some more. We are excited to hear Sister Black speak again this evening, We don't know what it's going to be on.  She usually doesn't know until that night and the woman NEVER uses any notes!

Zone conference was also wonderful. I needed it so much. (IT happened on Sunday) I am looking forward to reading over the notes that I took. It was so apparent that President and Sister Ludwig had been praying and preparing. I know that many of the Sisters feel the same way. I am continually amazed at how mindful Heavenly Father is of each one of us and that His spirit can make the same message fit every one of His children's needs. Everyone walked away so spiritually fed. Sister Ludwig spoke about being clay in the potter's hands and President Ludwig Spoke on Personal Revelation. Both had a series of points on the subject. 

Sister Ludwig:

1. Every lump of clay is different

2. There is a cleansing process involved to eliminate debris (as we eliminate debris in our own lives, the master can shape us more easily

3. Clay must be centered on the wheel (We must be centered on Christ)

4. When the clay does not take it's shape, the potter stars over (Repentance & The Atonement)

5. The potter works from the inside out

6. Clay never reaches its full potential until it is fired (We must trust the potter, even through adversity)

---When men and women turn there hearts over to God they will find that He can turn them into much more than they could on their own.

 

President Ludwig:

1. Comes in a Still Small Voice

2. Revelation usually comes as thoughts and feelings

3. We must be living worthy

4. Pondering the Scriptures leads to Revelation

5. We cannot force spiritual things. --- "Do not force it or you will open the door to being mislead"

6. When Revelations comes we should heed it. We must ACT. --- expect it to be revelation and follow through.

7. When deeply spiritual experiences  are given don't treat them like candy. Keep them to yourself unless strongly prompted to share. --- "I do not tell all I know. I have learn that if I speak too lightly of spiritual things, the Lord will not trust me with them in the future.

 

"Keep these things in your hearts and ponder them"

 

President pulled much of His talk from the by president Packer on personal revelation, "The candle of the Lord".

 

This is such a special once in a life time, never the same time in my life. I don't want to go home, I never want to leave, but I know that I must. I cannot stay in this Eden forever. The thought might not be so daunting if I knew what was going to happen. I have talked to God about it over the past couple of days and I know what I feel good about. I really need a blessing of peace. Particularly if what happens is contradictory to what I feel I have received from the spirit. I know what ever happens, It will be right.

 

Sister Bailey

 

"Take courage, We'll stand together, with a grip on the iron rod" --- Rendezvous

Is it really May?

 

May

May 4 

Is it really May? Where has the time gone? Are the Young Performing Missionaries (YPMs) really going to be with us this next coming week? Things that seemed to take forever last summer are happening so quickly.

It has been such a good week!!! Sister Cordoba is AMAZING. I love listening to her testimony. I love giving tours with her. I love how much she loves the gospel. I love our studies and I love spending time with her. She really has become one of my best friends in an incredibly short amount of time. As a missionary you love all your companions, but every once and a while you have those ones that make you wonder where you would be going or NOT going for that matter if you weren't put together. Her second day she gave a tour all by herself in Spanish!!! It was amazing and it was so fun because I was able to bear my testimony at the end in Spanish.  I felt to grateful that I was able to learn how in Washington. All the tours we have taken have been amazing. The spirit is so strong. We are completely different places in our studies which is amazing because we've been able to learn so much from each other. The Lord really does know exactly what we need, or who we need, to progress in this life. With things picking up so fast we are staying plenty busy. I am way behind in my letters. If you are waiting for one take comfort in knowing that no one else is receiving any either.

On Sunday Sister Cordoba and I gave 3 tours!!! Sister Cordoba did one of them virtually by herself and it was sooooo good. A man had come in from outside hoping someone would come take a picture of his family for him. We happily volunteered and then invited them back in to take a look at the Visitor's Center. They were so cool. They wanted a tour and I said that Sister Cordoba could take them. She looked at me like a deer in the head lights, but I felt strongly that she needed to take them.  As she walked over to the statue that depicts God the Father and Jesus Christ appearing to Joseph Smith in the grove of trees in 1820 I walked the other way to find one of the other visitors we had taken around the VC who had asked for a referral card. I handed him a couple and checked up on whether or not he had any questions, all the while praying fervently in my heart that Sister Cordoba would be given the words that she needed, that the spirit would bear her up, and that she could see a miracle. After a little bit I walked over to sit in on Sister Cordoba's tour. She was bearing her Testimony of Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon. I realized very quickly that I had volunteered her to take a family who knew very little about the church. They were listening intently and I could feel why. The spirit was so strong. The man who seemed to be the leader of the group interrupted Sister Cordoba to say, "As you tell me about these things I feel this warmth rise inside of me".  Sister Cordoba picked right back up saying, "I know that feeling, That feeling is the holy ghost". She taught them about the God head and the Holy Ghost's role to bear witness of truth and then told them that the warmth they were feeling could be felt just by reading the Book of Mormon. The man who had identified the spirit's presence responded in a thirsting tone, "Really?" She asked them each to read the Book of Mormon when they left Nauvoo. He said that he would have to get a copy when he got home. She then said that we would actually like to give him one and he again said in an almost anxious voice, "Really? You would do that?".  The tour continued and so did the spirit. I got the copies of the Book of Mormon and had them ready at the end of the tour. When I mentioned to them that "I have those copies of the Book of Mormon for who ever would like one"  the man who had originally mentioned it came over to me saying, "I definitely want one! I'm going to to read it!". Another motioned to me that he wanted a copy also and when I stretched my hand toward him he almost snatched it out of my hands as if he thought that if he did not take it quickly enough I would change my mind. Both of them were so eager to keep that spirit they had felt with them. One of them filled out a referral card.  On it he thanked us for the Book of Mormon and expressed his gratitude for our testimonies. It was an amazing tour. It was a direct answer to my prayer. I asked Sister Cordoba to tell me more about the tour before I came  and after I left.  She went on to tell me that the spirit told her very early on that they were unfamiliar with the church and not members. When this happened she was able to find out why they had come to Nauvoo. They said that they had been driving down the road and saw a sign. They had never been here. They had never heard of it, but they felt as though they should pull in a take a look around. I had almost forgotten the way that the Lord prepares and leads people to Nauvoo. During Sister Cordoba's tour and after I felt so close to heaven. I knew so acutely how important this work is and how involved He is in it. Before they left Sister Cordoba was able to bear her testimony to them about the plan of salvation in response to some of the questions that they had.

All the tours we have taken together in Carthage have been just as spiritual. I could go on and on. This is a miraculous place. Miracles happen minute by minute.

I love Nauvoo. I love it. I love this gospel.  I love the Senior Missionaries and I love Sister Cordoba. I love this place. I had a moment a while back in the car. I was driving to Nauvoo.  I forget who was with me, but I was filled with a spirit of joy. I know that I will leave this place one day, but I'm am not sure how. Kicking and screaming I suppose. 

Today Sister Cordoba and I went to the temple. It was an incredible session for me. The last time we went as  Sisters I had a really hard time staying awake. This time I had no trouble. I gained more insight and more questions to think about. More concepts to mull over in my head.

Afterwards we met Elder Sandstrom for a handcart trek. It was a very spiritual experience and very unifying. It was neat to do with just the two of us and we both felt so close to those early saints. We talk a lot about the hardships they went through and the struggles they faced. We started and ended with Elder Sandstrom's testimony. It made the experience very sweet.

 

Sister Bailey

 

Please come to Nauvoo. This place can change your life for the better if you are willing to let it.

 

Alma 38:5