Thursday, May 13, 2010

Time is a relative thing

                                                                                                       May 11

My brain is going in so many directions right now I can hardly figure out where to go first. This week was good. Part of me feels like so much has happened and the other part is shocked at how fast things went. Speaking of things moving fast, I can't believe it's the last week of the transfer. I'm not ready to let Sister Cordoba go. I love Sister Cordoba. She has helped me so much over the past two weeks and I feel like I still have so much to learn from her. Study is always a spiritual experience. She has helped me more and more to keep better and better track of my goal to feel the spirit work through me. It has been helping me become more sensitive to the spirit because I am looking for it and noting it's guidance. Studies have been fantastic. Service has been fantastic. Maybe I should just start with what is freshest and move back wards.
Today Sister Cordoba and I went to the temple. It was wonderful. I was very focused on something that has occupied my mind for the past 24 hours or so and it was wonderful to step out of the world and into some peace and quite so that I could ponder it more effectively.  It has been a really good day and an even better day to be on preparation day rather than serving. There has been no conclusion drawn, but faith and trust in whatever heavenly Father decides to do with the situation has be built and strengthened.  I know that by the time tomorrow comes I will feel much better and be thinking much clearer. The rest of today should be good. We've done our shopping and will clean the car before cramming as many sites into our day as possible. I called home on Sunday (Mother's Day) and was able to talk to my family! I can't believe that will be the last time I call them until I come home. It was wonderful to talk to them and I found myself wishing I had a little more time. We talked about a lot of things and my mom is planning her trip here. (So should the rest of you)  Everything seems to be going great back home and everything is going well here also. It's one of those times in your life that sneak up on you every once in a while. When the winds stop and the worry lulls. Things are very quiet and pleasant for me at the moment.
One tender mercy from on high this week was being able to have Susan Easton Black come speak to the sisters this past Sunday in district meeting. I missed her! I was fervently taking notes the entire time. I like the way she speaks.  She always has some sort of a goal. I identified her goal this time as "getting to know and learn something from Lucy Mack Smith". The most valuable lesson did not come until the very last minute as she was concluding. Heavenly Father seems to do that with me. I don't know if that's how I learn best or if he's teaching me patience, but it seems to come last of all. The most valuable piece of revelation that happened for me was when, as she closed, a thought came to my head. It had very little to do with what Sister Black had been talking about at the moment. It was very personal and very clear. Very crisp and coincided with a goal I have to more fully obey the Lord's commandment to "be of good cheer". As I reflected on that piece of light I had received I realized that I have some changes to be making. I'm not really sure what this piece of light means to me but I know that it is something good. It is a piece of light that I do not want to go out or fade. I am going to talk to Sister Cordoba about it some more. We are excited to hear Sister Black speak again this evening, We don't know what it's going to be on.  She usually doesn't know until that night and the woman NEVER uses any notes!
Zone conference was also wonderful. I needed it so much. (IT happened on Sunday) I am looking forward to reading over the notes that I took. It was so apparent that President and Sister Ludwig had been praying and preparing. I know that many of the Sisters feel the same way. I am continually amazed at how mindful Heavenly Father is of each one of us and that His spirit can make the same message fit every one of His children's needs. Everyone walked away so spiritually fed. Sister Ludwig spoke about being clay in the potter's hands and President Ludwig Spoke on Personal Revelation. Both had a series of points on the subject. 
Sister Ludwig:
1. Every lump of clay is different
2. There is a cleansing process involved to eliminate debris (as we eliminate debris in our own lives, the master can shape us more easily
3. Clay must be centered on the wheel (We must be centered on Christ)
4. When the clay does not take it's shape, the potter stars over (Repentance & The Atonement)
5. The potter works from the inside out
6. Clay never reaches its full potential until it is fired (We must trust the potter, even through adversity)
---When men and women turn there hearts over to God they will find that He can turn them into much more than they could on their own.
President Ludwig:
1. Comes in a Still Small Voice
2. Revelation usually comes as thoughts and feelings
3. We must be living worthy
4. Pondering the Scriptures leads to Revelation
5. We cannot force spiritual things. --- "Do not force it or you will open the door to being mislead"
6. When Revelations comes we should heed it. We must ACT. --- expect it to be revelation and follow through.
7. When deeply spiritual experiences  are given don't treat them like candy. Keep them to yourself unless strongly prompted to share. --- "I do not tell all I know. I have learn that if I speak too lightly of spiritual things, the Lord will not trust me with them in the future.
"Keep these things in your hearts and ponder them"
President pulled much of His talk from the by president Packer on personal revelation, "The candle of the Lord".
This is such a special once in a life time, never the same time in my life. I don't want to go home, I never want to leave, but I know that I must. I cannot stay in this Eden forever. The thought might not be so daunting if I knew what was going to happen. I have talked to God about it over the past couple of days and I know what I feel good about. I really need a blessing of peace. Particularly if what happens is contradictory to what I feel I have received from the spirit. I know what ever happens, It will be right.
Sister Bailey
"Take courage, We'll stand together, with a grip on the iron rod" --- Rendezvous

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