Extras.

My study extended itself a bit. And again the whole writing things down thing, it's a helpful remembering tool. The first thing is just more of a "note to self" thing. My mom posted an article on facebook that was really good. I liked it a lot. While listening to it I had this kind of "duh" moment, that I think I've been waiting for for a long time. That I've even been told before, but it's never struck me like it did this morning. It was an entire section on perfectionism and how it impedes growth:

"One thing that hinders the development of resilience is a misunderstanding of the commandment to be perfect (see Matthew 5:48). ...This misunderstanding may also stem from what society teaches our youth: that their worth depends on talent and performance....They worry about what others will think if they make mistakes. They fear loss of approval. They view their performance as the measure of their worth. Their perfectionism becomes a mean taskmaster, and it wears down their resilience.... they feel distressed and overwhelmed."

There were other wonderful things in that article as well. one of my favorites was the concept of teaching our children that "they don't have to want (or like) to do hard things, they just have to do them". 

The other thing i read that really got me thinking...brace yourself...The Mormon Bathroom Reader. And yes, I do occasionally read in the bathroom. It is time well spent thank you. Today it was a page called "Ezra Taft Benson's One-Liners". They guy had a lot of good things to say, as do most Prophets of God.  I wanted to touch on some. 

1. "Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul"
I don't know, I really felt the spirit when I read this. It testified to me that it was very true and a feeling of peace came over me. I read it again and again. Some of those things I talked about facing after coming off the mission --- after being sucked into the best book you've ever read --- those things I only ever thought I'd read about, some of those things have become some of my "greatest battles" and it really is all in "the silent chambers of [my] soul" I can't explain it accurately to anyone and sometimes when I try I feel crappy about myself because I know how irrational I sound. I'm ready to be done with it. For the battle to be over. Something's got to give, but it was nice to know that a prophet has acknowledged this phenomenon --- that's what it feels like, a phenomenon --- That it happens. That it's normal, that it is almost to be expected. 

Yeah, these get less personal, I promise.

2. "Be right, and then be easy to live with, if possible, but in that order"
I'm not sure he's actually referring to being right as in "I'm right you're wrong" Preeeeetty sure he means what President Ludwig meant when I left his office for the last time, "Sister Bailey, never lower your standards". Those words have rung in my ears since the moment they were spoken and I have tried hard to follow that advice. Be right with God and then be easy to live with, if  possible, but in that order. In our morally muddy world we cannot afford to get tossed about by every popularity or trend that may take place. In a big way, that kind of living just isn't safe. "Keep the commandments. In this there is safety and in this there is peace"

3. "The proud cannot accept the Authority of God giving direction in their lives"
And to their own detriment I'm afraid.

4. "I have noted within the church a difference in decernment, in insight, in conviction, and in spirit between those who know and love the Book of Mormonand those who do not --- That book is a great sifter"
Holland time: "If anyone is foolish enough or misled enough to reject 531 pages of a heretofore unknown text teeming with literary and Semitic complexity without honestly attempting to account for the origin of those pages—especially without accounting for their powerful witness of Jesus Christ and the profound spiritual impact that witness has had on what is now tens of millions of readers—if that is the case, then such a person, elect or otherwise, has been deceived; and if he or she leaves this Church, it must be done by crawling over or under or around the Book of Mormon to make that exit. In that sense the book is what Christ Himself was said to be: “a stone of stumbling, … a rock of offence,” ¹¹ a barrier in the path of one who wishes not to believe in this work."